If I left
Would anyone notice?
If I were gone
Would anyone remember me?
If I were no longer here
Would anyone mourn?
If I just disappeared
Would anyone miss me?
I see the way,
I see the path,
Laid out before me.
How short it seems
Compared to the rest.
The wounds are still festering,
Every last one
That I have ever received.
It is not in my nature
To forgive and forget.
It is not me
To live and love.
I see the way,
I see the path,
The one that will free me.
I've seen it for so long,
Taunting me with its temptation,
But warding me off with its fear.
I'm so close to forgetting the fear,
I'm so close to leaving.
No one has ever really grasped
Just how close I am.
I could pick up the knife,
Freshly sharpened,
And end my pain,
End my suffering,
That no one really understands.
No one sees what I see,
No one feels what I feel.
I know it could be worse,
So much worse,
But that doesn't make it any less painful,
And it never has,
And it never will.
The knife is right there,
Tempting me,
Scaring me.
I'm afraid of pain
Because I feel so much of it.
But one moment,
Just one,
Would be all it takes.
I would be free
To try again
In a new life,
A new place.
But if I did leave
Then would anyone notice?
If I took the path I see
Would anyone miss me?